I guess the middle of January is as good a time as any to lay the foundations for the start of the new year. I honestly felt a lot of pressure to “push out” a new year’s blogpost or an event, or anything like that, but then I had to stop myself. I had to stop myself and realize that I don’t need to necessarily push out anything in particular just to “keep up with the Jones’s.”
I had to stop myself in recognizing that working on my new year goals (or The Made Well Center’s )does not mean comparing my new year goals to others’ new years goals. New year, new YOU, right? It’s not new year, new THEM. It’s so important to remember, that we are changing and bettering ourselves, not changing and bettering ourselves in the process of comparing to others.
The reason this blog is titled “New Year, Same you, but Different” is because I want us to get away from the idea of being a completely new person all of a sudden at the start of the new year. We are still the same person we started out as, but if we can shift our view of the new year into more of a process rather than a “clean slate” I think it helps us create some sustainable direction for the positive.
There are a few simple steps that are helpful in creating “new year new you” behavior change.
Step 1: Stay in your lane.
Stay in your lane. Simple right? WRONG! We constantly are trying to follow other individuals lanes, and paths, only to end up not where we thought we were going in the first place. Stay in your lane. Acknowledge YOUR end goal, and YOUR direction. THEN you will be able to stay in your lane, and achieve the life you want for yourself.
Step 2: Begin with the End in Mind.
Stephen Covey in his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” reminds us that in every thing we do, we need to begin with the end in mind. This is true for every. single. day. We must begin with the end in mind DAILY. Not just the lofty 10 year change your life plans, but the real day in and day out, how do I want to feel at the end of THIS day type of plans. What equates a successful day for you? That’s your end goal. Which leads me to…
Step 3: Create your OWN Standard of Success.
We can’t value other’s successes as higher than our own. When we focus on other’s successes, it does not lend to our own success. When we are too focused on creating success based on what that looks like for other people, we don’t achieve our own. So what does your “standard of success” look like? And guess what?! – it might be different every. single. day. This is why it’s important to define that for ourselves every day (beginning with the end in mind).
Step 4: Evaluate. Daily. Weekly. Monthly. Forever. Evaluate
That’s right, we’ve got to evaluate ourselves. I think some people shy away from this because it feels like a “judgement.” However, when we’ve created our own standards of success this looks a lot more like a quantifiable achievement, or lack there of. There is no room for judgement when it is fact. When there is no standard of success, we judge ourselves, and say we didn’t live up to something that never existed in the first place. So evaluate yourself, people. Evaluate yourself daily. Evaluate yourself weekly, monthly, yearly, whatever. Just evaluate yourself. Don’t shy away from the quantifiable facts because of what you’re scared you might see there. You might come to see that there is a lot more scary things that lie ahead if you don’t evaluate, in fact. When you don’t know better, you can’t do better. When you can’t do better you feel stuck, and therefore feel as if you have not achieved your goals. Evaluate. Don’t be scared of what you find there. Just do better next time.
Step 5: Get rid of that judgement. Like, NOW.
We always beat ourselves up year after year, because we think we somehow failed at making a new and better us. But what’s worse is that we allow this judgement of “failure” to rule how we feel emotionally, and therefore this changes what we are doing on account of it all. So stop judging yourself. Learn how to speak kindly, and speak fairly, and quite honestly speak the truth into every situation. If you acknowledge that you’ve gotten out of your lane instead of saying “I’m a failure, i just can’t seem to keep my eyes straight.” Try saying something like this instead, “whoa, I got out of my lane, I take ownership of that, now I will do what I can to get back in my own lane.” This reduces judgement, and allows you to actually take steps towards being a same you, but different. Reducing the judgement allows you to live in actuality of your goals, to live in freedom associated with truth, and allows you to find a sense of wholeness in your life you may not have felt before.
New Year, Same You, But Different.
So allow this year to be the year of acknowledgment. The year of letting go of your judgments, and the year of embracing truth in search of freedom. Be well. Be you. Be better. Be different.